How to Appear Calm in Chaos

We’re pack animals

The Google results for “how to project calm energy” were not what I was expecting. They’re mostly about dog training, and how to convince your dog that you’re the pack leader. It’s pretty much the foundation of good dog ownership – maybe you’re a dog owner and you’ve already been there, or maybe you’re as surprised as I am.

Either way, it makes sense that calmness or “calm assertiveness” as leading doggo experts call it, is the most important part of pack leadership. A good pack leader is aware of the danger, but doesn’t panic the puppies unnecessarily, because they know calm can quickly descend into chaos.

It’s time to shut the business books and bring your local dog trainer to work for a lunch & learn session. Alternatively, read on for a blend of human and dog-inspired tips and tricks. It turns out we’re not as different from fido as we think.

Communication is not about words

Like dogs, we read body language and tone of voice more than we listen to words. According to body language researcher Albert Mehrabian, communication is 55% non-verbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words only. We perhaps focus more than we should on the 7% – “what should I say?”, when really “how should I say it?” should take up a lot more of our time and effort.

• Think of your audience. Cast your mind back to your last meeting. Forget the words you used. What’s the overarching message you projected with your body language and your tone of voice? “People don’t remember what you said, but how you made them feel” – how do you want people to feel after your next meeting?

• Consider the non-verbal cues you’re sending in the office. Are you sitting in the open plan with your shoulders hunched, angry eyes piercing your screen? Are you running to get to your next meeting, sloshing coffee over the laminate flooring? You’re clearly communicating to your fellow pack animals that they too should feel anxious and stressed.

• How is your mental state influencing your tone and manner? Are your sentences short and sharp? Is your voice more high-pitched than normal due to stress and anxiety? Taking some deep breaths through your diaphragm can change this – ask a singer.

Chaos is contagious, but so is calmness

Another thing we have in common with pack animals is our susceptibility to “emotional contagion”. Whilst some of your team will tune into your stress signals more acutely than others, many will notice more than you realise. These stress signals will unnerve them and, according to some studies, lead people to underestimate your performance and abilities.

“You want me to be less stressed?!” Ok, stress is an inevitability for many of us but even when we feel stressed, we can make a difference by showing less stress.

How can we manage our stress to give the illusion of calm?

• Keep a consistent emotional level. If you’re someone who naturally shows enthusiasm very overtly (think high five emojis and exclamation marks galore), seek to tone things down so that people don’t see such a strong disparity between your highs and lows

• Present constructive, considered solutions. If you’re coming to the rescue with an urgent remedy, take a step back. How will you present this to the team to get their buy-in? Does it need to be framed as a wholesale change or is it smaller than it feels to you?

• Proceed with care. There is a difference between transparency and oversharing. Do you need to burden others with this information? Can you act as an umbrella, shielding the team from this storm so they can crack on with their work?

In a Nutshell

Projecting calmness is about building awareness of the involuntary verbal and non-verbal cues you send others. Once you begin to notice the messages you’re sending, you can change them. Change the energy you project and over time, your team’s energy will follow.

Oh, and if you don’t want to practise in the office, you can start with your dog.