Time to Have More Fun

The end of year break is advertised as a time to wind down, recharge and spend time with loved ones.

But this doesn’t happen on its own. For many of us, it’s hard to find the off-switch in a head full of emails, docs and deadlines.

For others, we absorb ourselves so fully in responsibilities and obligations during our time off that we put our own needs last. Selfless, but not sustainable.

Some of us are so tired that we over-indulge in fake fun — short-term dopamine hits such as social media scrolling that leave us feeling empty, not refreshed.

So what can we do to feel refreshed after the break?

This article will share a few ways to have more fun over the coming weeks. But first, we need to redefine how we think about our own happiness.

What is hedonism, really?

Hedonism comes from the Greek “hēdonē” meaning pleasure. The first person to talk about hedonism was Aristippus, who believed that a craving for pleasure should be instantly indulged.

As a result, hedonism often goes hand-in-hand with “egoism” — a selfish pursuit of pleasure. No wonder it’s got a bad reputation over the years. “Pleasure” is also associated with sensory indulgence not simple joys.

Aristippus lived a long, luxurious life until the age of 79. He was the first pupil of Socrates to charge money for his teaching (much to the dismay of Socrates) and he loved a good time.

After him, Epicurus came along with a different idea of hedonism: absence of pain. He especially believed that anxiety got in the way of happiness. He ate bread and water so he was never hungry but never too full and occasionally enjoyed “a little pot of cheese”.

You might want a more varied diet than Epicurus but in our modern lives full of stress and anxiety, it sounds like he was onto something.

How can we switch our focus from pressure to over-indulge during the festive season (spend more, eat more, have more) to reducing stress and anxiety so we feel good?

How to be more Epicurus?

What are your biggest sources of stress over the festive season? Perhaps it’s an inability to switch off, the expectation to please too many people or pressure to ‘have fun’ when you’re not feeling it.

Whatever it is, Ben Bramble says there are two ways to look at the situation.

Pleasure as “quality” or pleasure as “attitude”. The quality of pleasure is all about the moment — does a particular experience or event have what it takes to make someone happy? Attitude is all about the individual’s mindset in the moment — do they have what it takes to experience the happiness?

As you may have already clocked, quality is a slippery slope. The moment risks falling short (a disappointing sunset, a rainy weekend away) and yet attitude is within our control. On a rainy day, one person indulges in the sound of the rain whilst another bemoans being stuck inside. Who is calmer, happier?

Maybe the quality of your situation isn’t where you want it to be, but according to Bramble that doesn’t mean you can’t find the good and change your attitude towards it.Like what you’re reading?

Did you know? Each week I also publish a 1-minute read including leadership hacks, reflection questions and deep work DJ sets.

Give us a nudge

Changing entrenched attitudes is tough. We sometimes need a little nudge to get out of our funk. Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of Joyful, recommends designing for joy by injecting colour into our everyday.

Look at your laptop, your workspace, your office, your car. Chances are you live a pretty monochrome existence. Many of us do.

Lee tells a story of one mayor’s courageous project to use colour to reduce crime and increase positivity in the run-down city of Tirana, Albania. He arranged for many of the nondescript buildings to be painted bright colours overnight and the project was so effective in shifting citizens’ mindsets that 4 years later, he was awarded the 2004 World Mayor Award for his work. Ten years later, he became Albania’s Prime Minister.

Rama explained: “When colours came out everywhere, a mood of change started transforming the spirit of the people … People started to drop less litter in the streets. They started to pay taxes. They started to feel something they’d forgotten … Beauty was giving people a feeling of being protected. This was not a misplaced feeling — crime did fall.”

Whilst he could not materially change the quality of life for the town’s inhabitants, designing for joy allowed the mayor to disrupt their entrenched mindset, prompting them to change their attitudes.

For many, the festive break is full of colour you can take a moment to notice and appreciate outside your home. For those looking for inspiration, even a new plant, a new notebook or moving a piece of furniture might be the nudge you need to refresh your mind.

What about nudges to do less?

We’ve talked about nudges to appreciate more, how about nudges to do less?

Rearranging apps on your home screen for the holidays, or even removing them temporarily can help switch off.

But if you’re overloaded with new responsibilities the moment work finishes, it’s time to start outsourcing tasks.

Hedonism is famously fuelled by pursuit of money, not pursuit of time. Ashley Whillans at Harvard Business Review suggests a better way to happiness is to reverse this construct from “spending time to buy money” to “spending money to buy time” — this could be spending money on a few shortcuts or outsourcing some of the stress to others who will help in the spirit of the season.

Valuing our time a little higher when we need a break can help us recharge.

Live in the moment

Epicurus was a fan of living in the present. “As long as life is present, its end is not”, he once quipped. In short, live life in the present and you won’t be haunted by thoughts of death (Barbie movie, anyone?!) and you’ll be able to make the most of life.

Easier said than done, of course. How to live in the moment?

Savour the little things

Epicureanism suggests the key is taking comfort in simplicity. Where the big things happening towards the end of the year may be a source of anxiety and anticipation, the little things happen in-the-moment and if we don’t appreciate them, they pass us by.

Get out in nature

Epicurus was big on his garden and believed that natural things were the best route to happiness. For many of us, he’s not wrong, and we also gravitate towards nature. It can feel indulgent to make time to get outside or explore somewhere new when we’re busy. Yet it might be just what we need to feel restored.

Pleasure over perfection

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that Epicurus wasn’t a fan of perfectionism — it leads to unnecessary anxiety — the very opposite of pleasure. Prioritising sharing joy with those around us over getting it ‘right’ or exactly the way we want it is a challenge, but one worth embracing. Does your vision of this end of year break have to be perfect? What would happen if some things fell out of place?

Find friendship

Epicurus lived into old age with his closest friends — one of his biggest sources of happiness. When people are tired and busy it can be easy to get distracted in the moment or fail to plan time with friends or family — in Epicurus’ eyes this is the most important part of all. It’s worth cutting corners elsewhere to truly enjoy each others’ company.

Be calm

It’s tempting to buy a lot of things or book a holiday to help us find a brief state of calm after the hectic run up to the end of the year. Epicurus worked out that no, that won’t make any difference. It’s finding a state of inner calm, wherever you are, that will have more lasting effects. For those of us not jetting off to the Maldives, it’s good news to hear calmness is well within our grasp no matter where we are, we just need to prioritise time to be present and enjoy it.

From finding time to being fully present, it’s not always easy to embrace a change of pace. Be more Epicurus by savouring the little things or spending a moment in nature and see how it changes the next few weeks for you.

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