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What is Radical Candor?
And how it can help you.
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Image Credit: Writer’s Own
You may have heard colleagues mention Kim Scott’s Radical Candor, the framework she sets out to help you navigate the world of people management. There’s a lot to take in, so before you read the book, read the central principle below to get the gist.
Radical Candor is a feedback style that combines challenging directly with showing you care personally about the individual’s.
This can be used with someone you’ve worked or lived with over a long period of time, or with someone you pass by on the street.
How does it Work?
Scott talks about a man she bumped into whilst crossing the road, whilst running after her out-of-control puppy. As she arrived on the other side of the road, breathless, clutching her dog whose lead had slipped out of her hand moments earlier, he turned to her and showed he cared personally: “I can see you really love your dog”. He then challenged directly “but if you don’t train her to wait at road crossings, you’re going to get her killed.”
The opening statement “I can see you really love your dog” softens the blow and shows the message is coming from a good place. “If you don’t train her to wait at road crossings” provides a clear action to take, whilst the hard truth “you’re going to get her killed” hits the core message home.
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What are people doing instead?
Many of us care about the individual so much, we remain silent when it matters to speak up, for fear of hurting their feelings. Scott characterises this behaviour as “ruinous empathy”.
If someone had spinach on their face, would you tell them? Many of us know the person will be embarrassed and we choose not to be the one to tell them. The result? The person walks around for hours more with spinach on their face and feels even more embarrassed when someone eventually plucks up the courage to point it out.
This small example is an opportunity to show you “care personally”, then “challenge directly”. You might say: “I know I always want someone to let me know when this happens to me, so I thought I’d mention you have spinach on your cheek.”
If you don’t show you care about the individual, especially as their manager, two alternative behaviours emerge, and both are problematic. One is that you make the individual aware of their areas of weakness in an aggressive way, i.e. “being a jerk” — shouting at them or making them feel small. That’s Obnoxious Aggression. It’s alive in many workplaces today, but does little to motivate the team and encourage retention.
Alternatively, you see their weaknesses clearly and you choose to keep them to yourself, denying the individual the opportunity to grow. That’s manipulative insincerity — the worst of all and the foundation of a toxic workplace culture. Sooner or later, the individual’s weaknesses will be up for discussion amongst management, without the person having been made aware of them or having been given the opportunity to course-correct before it’s too late.
How to put Radical Candor into practice?
The most important piece of this puzzle is identifying where your own weaknesses are. Do you naturally lean more towards showing you care or do you challenge people on their weak points consistently but struggle to show empathy?
If you already feel your direct reports know you care, when was the last time you challenged them on behaviour that wasn’t acceptable, or work that could have been done to a higher standard? It helps to remember that feedback helps people grow. If you’re avoiding giving people feedback for fear of hurting their feelings, you’re denying them an opportunity to grow, which will hurt them more in the long-run.
If you regularly challenge your direct reports on the quality of the work they produce or how they show up at work, how can you show you care personally? This can be as little as thanking them for going above and beyond at a given time or as large as inviting the team out for dinner. Another important way to show you care that’s core to the manager role is to actively take an interest in the individual’s progression plan and to help them map out where they’re going.
Beware of sending the wrong signals
An easy trap to fall into, especially if you struggle to show you care about the wellbeing of those you manage, is to take actions that make it look like you don’t care. Cancelling a one-to-one catch up at short notice, without rescheduling, is often interpreted by the individual as a clear sign that they are your lowest priority. Similarly, failing to get back to someone when they’ve asked important questions about their future in the company could be an honest mistake amidst a busy time, but it may be perceived as a signal to the individual that they are not valued.
Can I use this in my personal life?
There are lots of instances where we deeply care about a friend and whilst it might be easy to point out the spinach on her face, it’s less easy to point out that she’s not being treated well by her partner. These conversations can be tough, and the “care personally” element needs to come through even more strongly. Often there can be personal feelings of hurt involved as well “now they’re together she spends less time with me!”. Where there are multiple agendas at play, being ready to put yours aside and show you care personally about hers is the key to a productive conversation.
What’s the key takeaway?
When giving difficult feedback, first show you care personally, then, challenge directly.
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