Help Your Network Help You

Success is Shared

Imagine CVs existed 2.5 million years ago with the jargon of today.

“Singlehandedly spearheaded sabretooth-tiger-killing-initiative.” “Independently led tribe to spacious new cave”. The little we know about evolution tells us this is stretching the truth: it’s very unlikely that cave people accomplished such mammoth 🦣 feats alone.

Today, CVs continue to paint pictures of independent success – yet it’s rarely (if ever) the case. Either we achieve success in partnership with others, or someone gives us the guidance we need to get there.

Inevitably, the top performers get a little more guidance than others. Prehistoric hunters who showed most potential would be taken on more challenging hunting expeditions, whilst others would be left behind berry picking.

Someone has to notice that we have the potential to run faster, to hunt bigger and be willing to invest time to help us get there.

We’re part of such large groups today that being noticed and nurtured isn’t a given. A leader looking to help others succeed could invest their time in an infinite number of individuals.

By the time they’ve considered their own offspring, employees, community members, they will need other ways to narrow their options.

Naturally, it’s the individual who builds the strongest connection with the leader who rises to the top of the list.

And that’s where building a network becomes critical to modern-day success.

Humble brags on social media are not enough: “so great to attend the woolly mammoth convention yesterday, I want to thank these people for their inspiring contributions.”

Building a network that helps us achieve our goals is hard graft and requires strategic thinking.

In this article I will share a map of what that network could look like, to support you and propel you to your vision of success.

The Mammoth in the Room

Let’s address a common concern before we get to the good stuff: “isn’t it a bit manipulative or selfish to purposefully curate your network? Won’t people get tired of helping me?”

Lots of us feel uncomfortable about intentionally surrounding ourselves with people who can support our best interests.

Yet we forget that people want to help. When we give to others, it activates the areas of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection and trust.

Stanford social psychologist Xuan Zhao reminds us that people “feel good and happy when they are able to help others”. Giving someone an opportunity to help lights them up and makes them feel useful.

How does the experienced hunter feel when he’s too frail to hunt if he also can’t share his wisdom with others? We’re wired to enjoy the experience of helping others succeed.

Like what you’re reading?
Get weekly articles in your inbox.

Introducing Your Personal Boardroom

Amanda Scott and Zella King developed a network map called the Personal Boardroom and it’s served me well for years. Use it to create a balanced support network that helps you towards your goals.

First, define your goal. Scott and King suggest your goal can fall into 3 categories:

My personal boardroom will help me…

1 – Be the best leader I can be 2 – Help me achieve [goal] in [domain]

3 – Define what I stand for as a leader

Pick one and define it in 15 words or less.

Now that you’ve got your goal in mind, read about the roles that can help you get there.

Information Roles

Let’s start with the information roles. These are key to helping you navigate an industry or a company, giving you the information you need to get to your goal. They are the expert, the customer voice, the expert and the navigator.

The expert gives specific advice – you might choose someone who has deep sector expertise or knows a lot about a challenge you’re grappling with. In cave-dweller terms, this is the elder sitting by the fire sharing their wisdom.

The customer voice helps you understand markets, customers and business opportunities. They might even be your customer.

The inspirer brings fresh thinking and ideas. This role best fits a big picture thinker with a positive mindset who will build on your ideas.

The navigator gives you lay of the land and tells you who you need to know, what to watch out for and how things work around here.

Power Roles

These roles help you get things done by removing obstacles you can’t remove yourself. They’re the people who make sure you’re in the right place at the right time.

The unlocker provides access to resources, data, money, others’ time. Without them, you will reach obstacles you can’t overcome on your own.

The sponsor speaks out about you and your ideas to the people who can unlock opportunities for you. “Go on, give them a chance”.

The influencer works behind the scenes to win support and get things done – it might be thanks to the influencer that the sponsor is willing to advocate on your behalf.

The connector makes introductions to people who can help you. Some people are born connectors, and thrive on bringing like-minded people together. These people are so important to your network.

Development Roles

Finally, the development roles keep you on the path to sustainable growth.

The Improver gives constructive feedback on your performance. Praise only gets us so far, whereas constructive feedback ensures we grow faster and go further.

The Challenger challenges your decisions and thinking, helping you to see blindspots and errors. This is a tough role to fill and an important one to nurture as not everyone feels confident to give critical feedback where it’s due.

The Nerve-Giver strengthens your resolve at a difficult time and gives you a sense of purpose. Think about how you might bolster the human support you receive with other methods: time with a pet, a hobby, an exercise class. A coach could work well here too.

The Anchor holds you accountable for your work-life balance. A rewarding but at times exhausting role, this might occupied by a partner, friend or family member or coach. Consider activity-based ways to boost your balance too.

Who to Ask?

Scott and King recommend you have 6 to 12 people in your personal boardroom, occupying one or multiple roles. The people who fill these roles should know you and your work, even at a distance. So if you’ve added Beyoncé, you might need to cross her off for now.

Stretch yourself: at your most successful, who might be in there? Think beyond work and critically, beyond the ‘must-have’ roles such as a boss, an existing mentor.

There is a risk you fill too many boxes with one person: “the bingo boss”. If that boss disappears, your personal boardroom will be empty. Make sure you include a diverse set of people across ages and backgrounds.

How to Ask?

Whilst there may not be a need to ask for support explicitly, you may need to approach some people to engage them. To do that, Uma Thana, founder of Lean In Singapore, suggests a 3-step approach:

1. Reach out (e.g. on Linkedin) and ask them for a call to answer one specific question they can help you on.

2. Follow up after the call and tell them how that piece of information helped you and what you’ve done as a result (note: most people forget to do this part).

3. Repeat!

Before you know it, you’ve found yourself a mentor. Scott and King also recommend keeping requests specific and tailored to your goal. Helping someone is only rewarding when you can see how it will impact them.

Want to get started on your personal boardroom? Download a helpful template here.

May the efforts you put into consciously building your network help you slay a giant sabre-tooth tiger together.

Love to live life on the edge? Take a chance on one of the buttons below.