Rewire Success for Real Fulfilment

Have you ever put your heart and soul into pursuing a goal and after months of hard work to finally achieve it, you felt… nothing? Perhaps you saved up for a dream purchase, only to find it lose its appeal after a relatively short time.

Researchers Clark and Sugrue determined that “the novelty effect”, or the enjoyment we take in something long-awaited or new and exciting, wears off after just 8 weeks. And that’s if we feel the buzz we expect to feel in the first place.

How does it happen?

There’s brain chemistry behind all this, and it starts with dopamine. Pursuing a goal or reward causes spikes in dopamine — it’s no wonder we call it “the thrill of the chase”. 

In his podcast episode on Dopamine and Motivation, Andrew Huberman explains that dopamine has its roots in an evolutionary instinct to “go out and search for things”. If you wake up without food or water, a dopamine response will cajole you into seeking it out. In modern times, where food is plentiful, this has shifted to achievement goals, like running a marathon. 

When you achieve those goals, you experience a big high and with it, the sensation that this high will last a long while! The reality, however, is very different: the higher the high, Huberman explains, the further the fall. Days after the marathon, we might even feel depressed as we experience the shift in emotions.

Indeed, Brickman & Campbell’s hedonic adaptation theory explains that once we’ve achieved our goals, we quickly return to the same baseline happiness we found ourselves at previously. There’s no “higher state” of happiness we can expect to attain, no matter how much it feels that way.

Then why do we feel so strongly inclined to pursue success in the first place? And why do we fall into the same trap again and again?

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Why Are We Addicted to Achievement?

Society has increasingly glorified those who overidentify with their goals. But when your self-worth is tied to achievement of a particular goal, achieving it quickly becomes disorienting, opening up an existential “what now?!” void after peak success.

Olympians work intensively towards their goal for 4 years, but only recently has a light been shone on the “Post-Olympics blues”, a feeling of emptiness after the end of the competition reported to affect a significant proportion of participants. A 2023 study of 49 Danish Olympians and Paralympians found 27% had below-average well-being or moderate-to-severe depression.

In his book, Drive, Daniel H. Pink explains that we often pursue goals based on extrinsic motivation: we want the money, the fame or the reputation that comes with success. Yet these typical rewards and punishments are often ineffective and can even hinder intrinsic motivation. Instead, he explains that the desire to learn and create is the key to unlocking optimal performance.

How to rewire our approach to success?

Focus on the Process

Yawn, how many times have we been told to “enjoy the journey”? Yet Pink explains that learning and feeling in control of the direction we’re travelling will bring more lasting fulfilment than pursuit and achievement of a goal itself. If we work in pursuit of the new skills or new knowledge we gain in the process, we’re likely to be more satisfied with the outcome and along the way.

Make Your Goals Meaningful

Sometimes we pursue goals because we feel pressured to (by society, peers, family) or because they feel the natural next step on our journey. Pink argues that this only sustains our motivation if it helps us feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Aligning our goals with that of our organisation creates an important sense of purpose that boosts our satisfaction.

Celebrate!

I’ve long-grappled with not wanting to celebrate until the last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place. But I’ve learnt it’s a poor strategy for fending off disappointment. Instead, the long-awaited celebration never comes and opportunities for smaller celebrations along the way are missed.

Daniel Pink’s research shows that celebrating these smaller milestones holds more significance than celebrating the end result — especially if the smaller milestones reward the effort and the drive, rather than the success.

For the next big milestone, shelve thoughts of achieving the big dream and focus instead on what will keep you having fun and feeling fulfilled along the way. It might just keep you feeling satisfied for longer!

I hope you enjoyed this read! These articles are now monthly. If you’d like to hear from me weekly, I invite you to join readers who enjoy my 2-minute mid-week newsletter.