Spring Clean Your Dreams

Dreams can look a lot like messy sock drawers. Some are crazy, some are sensible, some we never intend to see the light of day and some always seem to surface to the top.

When was the last time you sorted through your mental sock drawer? Without regular spring cleaning, some dreams risk lying forgotten in the recesses of our minds whilst others take up more mental space than they deserve. Here’s a guide to navigating your next mental sock-sorting exercise.

Find the mental sock drawer 

We all have a messy sock drawer of dreams filed somewhere in our minds. Tease it out by putting pen to paper and jotting down the first thirty dreams that come to mind. Getting past twenty might be a struggle (it was for me!), so consider the following questions to tease out the stubborn dreams stuck at the back:

• What would make me happiest?

• What do I see myself doing in 5 / 10 / 15 years time?

• What feels scary, but exciting?

• What would I be sad not to do?

Looking at your dreams on paper, what categories emerge? Some of us have drawers full of socks that look the same, and others have a wide variety. Spot any themes that form naturally: perhaps family, health, travel, career. It’s a good indicator of what’s important to you and where you get your energy from.

Notice the ones that rise to the top

The same socks always seem to make it to the top of the drawer. Take a look a the first dreams you wrote down: why might they have come to you before anything else?

Our top-of-mind dreams typically fall into two categories: either we’re very passionate about them and they feed our energy (let’s call these dreams “Nourishers”), or they serve us in very practical ways (”Gatekeepers”).

The Nourishers: these are the dreams we’re passionate about because they bring us energy, and we keep coming back time and again. Like the sports socks we don for the weekly game, they are rituals we want to keep up or experiences we look forward to.

The Gatekeepers: we aspire to fulfil these dreams because they have potential to unlock other dreams we’ve buried at the back of the drawer. Being in good health might allow us to travel widely, landing our dream job might allow us to afford luxuries we value, and so on.

Have you got a mixture of nourishers and gatekeepers on your page? Are there any other dreams you would move up your list or have forgotten to write down in the first place?

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Find the hidden gems

These are the socks hiding at the back of the drawer, long-since neglected, but satisfying to find during a spring-clean. Find their dream-equivalents by taking a look at those that appeared at the end of your list, or that hit you with a sudden “aha!” but were initially forgotten.

If the dream still matters to you, how soon can you take the first step towards fulfilling it? If nothing can be done yet, tuck it at the back for a while longer, but there’s usually something we can do to further these dreams once we move them front-of-mind.

Toss out the ones you never wear

Take a look at your list again. Are there any dreams that made the list because you feel you ought to pursue them? These are the socks that are in fashion or that your mum gifted you, but don’t feel authentically “you”. You might get compliments when you wear them, but they don’t bring you joy. It takes courage to toss out those dreams and replace them with something true to you.

Next, find the dreams you’re holding onto that just don’t fit anymore. Perhaps they have shrunk in the wash or the fabric has always felt a little itchy. If your dreams are too small for you and don’t feel exciting, it’s time to let them go. And if any feel a little big and baggy right now, break them down into smaller pieces.

Last in the “rarely worn” pile are socks of sentimental value that you refuse to lose, but never wear. These need special attention. Mark Manson describes these dreams as dreams you were never supposed to live, but desperately wanted once upon a time, like his dreams of being a rockstar.

He explains that whilst society encourages you to go all-in on your dreams, you might have the wrong one to start with. Dreams we’ve grown out of only take up space — it’s time to replace them with something new.

Mend the holes

A favourite pair that’s gone thin on the heels? Time to mend or move on. Our dreams are fragile — sometimes we destroy them ourselves, but more often than not, our fragile ego destroys them when someone pokes holes. The classic example of this is the childhood dream: “wow, great that you want to become an [actor / athlete / astronaut]”, says the well-meaning stranger, “but hardly anyone’s successful at it. Why would you be any different?”

Dan Cumberland, founder of The Meaning of Movement, calls these people “dream killers”. It’s possible there are dreams that should have made it onto your list, but didn’t because they met a fateful end at the hands of an unsuspecting dream killer. Time to pluck up courage and add them to the list.

Lastly, reorder your mental sock drawer. Let the dreams that matter most rise to the top and wear them with pride. Tuck some away for later, but don’t let the most important ones get forgotten at the back.

Most importantly, ensure all the dreams on your list are yours and no one else’s. Sometimes we mix up the dreams we want for ourselves with the dreams others want for us, and nobody wins as a result. Whether it’s dreams or socks, if you’ve borrowed someone else’s, it’s time to give it back.

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