Every week, I pose the same question to someone completely random: “What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?” It could be a bartender, a taxi driver, a busy hotel clerk — no one escapes! This is all in aid of my weekly newsletter, where I share a piece of everyday life advice from the real world each week. Curious? Get it weekly in your inbox here.

Why advice?

Advice is strange: people love to give it, but it is rarely invited. And if it shows up uninvited, it becomes an unwanted guest at a party, perhaps even seen as criticism, not as advice at all. So the moment you ask for advice, there’s a visible shift: an excited light appears in people’s eyes, as if they’ve been waiting for the invitation to speak.

This single request fast-tracks rapport building because it takes courage. You have to mentally prepare yourself to take the plunge, and once you do, the other person has to pluck up the courage to respond.

When you ask for advice someone cherishes, you invite them to show vulnerability — and if they choose to reject your invitation, things can quickly become awkward.

That said, it’s a risk worth taking: 90% of the time, connection builds much faster once the conversation moves beyond niceties to a moment mulling over a more meaningful question.

Why? It makes someone feel seen. People appreciate being asked for their perspective — even briefly. It tells them: I value your perspective and makes for more meaningful interactions.

Why these micro-moments matter

In my last article, I wrote about how small connection moments nurture well-being — it’s a bonus we don’t always anticipate. By asking a simple, open question, you create joy — not just for your conversational partner, but for yourself too.

Better yet, studies show micro-moments of kindness and connection create chain reactions, leading to another good deed or friendly interaction.

Those days where it feels like one good thing follows another? It might be down to a domino-chain that started with a micro-moment of connection.

What else sparks connection — with almost no effort?

Offering a genuine smile.

Smiles are pretty powerful stuff: they can build rapport with strangers, make people seem more approachable and trustworthy and even uplift a person’s mood and heart rate.

They’re as helpful for the giver as they are for the receiver: one study asked 2 groups to endure mild physical pain — one group were told to smile during the tests, and not the other. The smilers reported feeling more positive after the event and also showed a lower heart rate compared to their frowning counterparts. A good one to remember next time you’re working out at the gym.

Asking for help.

It seems counterintuitive, but asking someone for help can quickly build connection.

Psychologists Jon Jecker and David Landy found requests for help increased the requester’s likeability — a theory tested by Benjamin Franklin, who claimed that someone who has helped you is more likely to willingly help you again, rather than someone who you have helped.

Most people are inclined to help — but we often underestimate their willingness and overestimate how much we might inconvenience them. That mental barrier is often the only thing holding us back.

Learning someone’s name.

It’s a simple but powerful gesture that’s easily forgotten, especially in brief interactions. When you ask someone’s name and use it, you signal attention and respect, saying: you are not just another face. A friend makes a point of asking a stranger’s name before asking them a favour: “Hi, what’s your name? Greg, would you might taking a photo of our group?” I’m amazed how that extra few seconds builds a stronger rapport and a greater willingness in the individual to help.

As the team at NeuroLaunch explains: “…hearing your name activates specific areas in your brain associated with self-identity and memory… it’s like your brain’s version of a ‘That’s me!’ lightbulb moment.”

Whether it’s a quick smile, a small favour or asking someone’s name, all of these interactions take seconds — but they’re memory-makers. They turn ordinary moments with strangers into something surprisingly kind and connected, boosting both their mood and yours. Give it a try!

As for my best life advice, it’s hands-down this gem from Gretchen Rubin: choose the bigger life. When you’re at a crossroads, imagine both paths as real lived lives, then ask: which one feels like the bigger life? It brings clarity in moments of decision — and turns a fork in the road into something playful, intuitive, and meaningful.

I hope you enjoyed this read! These articles are now monthly. If you’d like to hear from me weekly, I invite you to join readers who enjoy my 2-minute mid-week newsletter.